I just listened to a taped radio program with Byron Katie who wrote the book Loving What Is. Simply put, she makes the case that we do
violence to ourselves and to others because of our beliefs. She asks the interesting question, "Who would you be without your story." I got to
wondering what we vet wives would be without our ptsd drama. For a while now, I have also been wondering how much of the hurt I have felt in
my marriage I brought on myself by making assumptions about my dh's motivations that may not have been true. I have also been wondering how much misery I
have created for myself by being stubbornly unwilling to accept him the way he is. Not accepting my husband's ptsd is like wishing for a polka dot zebra.
I have been coming to this site for only a month, but quite frankly, I am overwhelmed by negativity that we collectively express about our husbands. It concerns me greatly because I think that negativity is very contagious. While, I think venting has some value, it does not change anything. It is not peaceful, transformative or solution-oriented. That's why I suggested the "wild experiment." Something different. Something uplifting. It was quite possibly a lousy idea and out of sync with the culture of this site. I am not about changing you; I believe that you are working through the issues of ptsd the way that is best for you. I have great respect for your courage and your compassion for one another.
Please know that I am truly sorry for the pain in your lives. I have lived it too. It hurts like hell. But I have come to the conclusion that thinking negatively about my husband has caused me more pain and damage than his ptsd ever has. I don't want to go down that slippery slope any more.
I appreciate your welcoming me to this site but I won't be coming around anymore. Everyone has to find the way that is the best fit for them. There are many different paths and no one path is right for every person.
I will hold you in my heart and in my prayers.
Bambi
I have been coming to this site for only a month, but quite frankly, I am overwhelmed by negativity that we collectively express about our husbands. It concerns me greatly because I think that negativity is very contagious. While, I think venting has some value, it does not change anything. It is not peaceful, transformative or solution-oriented. That's why I suggested the "wild experiment." Something different. Something uplifting. It was quite possibly a lousy idea and out of sync with the culture of this site. I am not about changing you; I believe that you are working through the issues of ptsd the way that is best for you. I have great respect for your courage and your compassion for one another.
Please know that I am truly sorry for the pain in your lives. I have lived it too. It hurts like hell. But I have come to the conclusion that thinking negatively about my husband has caused me more pain and damage than his ptsd ever has. I don't want to go down that slippery slope any more.
I appreciate your welcoming me to this site but I won't be coming around anymore. Everyone has to find the way that is the best fit for them. There are many different paths and no one path is right for every person.
I will hold you in my heart and in my prayers.
Bambi





