It was nice to talk to you guys last night, even for a bit. Sorry I ran out so quick...it was a rough night.
So I took everyone's advice and have been really pushing to get us the heck out of mom's basement. Dh was all for it at first, and then we went to a
mortgage broker to see what we qualify for (which I knew wasn't going to be much and I've been telling him that), and it was WAY less than what we
would want for a house. I made it very clear that I didn't care, I need to get out of that house for my own sanity, even if it's just renting for the
time being. He sort of pushed the idea off for about a week (we spend a wonderful weekend ALONE in chicago and things were back to normal between us), but
last night everything came to a head. I'm not working, but I have been applying literally to every business that has ahelp wanted sign posted and more,
and I've been taking side jobs liek cleaning family friends houses and babysitting. He, of course, is laying on his lazy can allll day on the computer.
He gets up to go meet his friends for coffee or to go to class, but then comes back and it's the same thing. I've never seen anyone less motivated in
my entire life. So last night I was suckered into going out to help his mom with something which she promised would be quick, and long story short I came back
pissed off because I was gone for 3 hours. I told dh that was the last straw. The whole time we were out she was grilling me about him and family stuff
(every time we plan something for just us, like the state fair, she turns it into a family outing), and I am at my wits end. He flipped on me and said we
can't get an apartment because we can't afford it because I'm not working. So then I lost it because I'm at least putting effort forth which
is way more than he can say. He gave me a whole guilt trip saying I expect him to take care of my bills and I don't have a job...I'm sorry, I'm
trying, and aren't spouses supposed to support each other in times of need? I believe I've been doing my fair share of that with him, emotionally
anyways.
He keeps saying we can't afford to buy (which we really can't because he wants a perfect ginormous house and isn't willing to settle for a starter
home), and we can't afford to rent. THe funny thing is we COULD afford to rent if he would stop going out to eat for every meal and stop buying guns and
amo. I'm sure I sound like a whiney 5 year old right now, and I'm sorry, but I'm so so so frustrated. I finally was getting my life in order
before I moved here - I gave up a great apartment and a great job to move. I was promised we would be in his moms house no longer than 2 months, and here we
are 5 months later and we're no where near moving out. I gave up so much to move here, and I think he forgets that sometimes. Yes, I agreed to move, and
I wanted to, but he pushed for it to be RIGHT NOW, not a year from now. I am so exhausted all the time. Partially because I can't sleep or I wake up in
the middle of the night, and because I feel like I'm living two different lives. I'm trying to live mine, and I feel like I"m pushing him to live
his. I don't know if any of you guys have this problem, but are your husbands on the computer 24/7? Like literally, we'll be laying in bed at night
and he'll be laying next to me on facebook chat with 10 other people.
I'm sorry for the rant....do you guys have any suggestions on how to push him to get out of his moms house? Or how to get him to do things for
himself??





