I have never been so tired of hearing dh talk of bills and money...Ugh, hush already. Lets start from the beginning. Dh has always had this big master plan to pay off all of the bills and pay for anything we need in the future with cash. Its a great idea in general but in my personal opinion not very realistic. When we first got married dh used to pay all of our bills and keep up with the accounts, then one day I looked at the bank statement and we were in the negative. Needless to say I threw a fit and now I pay the bills, but dh always finds something wrong, their not getting paid off fast enough, he doesn't have any money in his pocket, blah blah blah. (Just to my credit, in the 4 years we have been we bought 2 new vehicles, bought and sold a house and paid off over 60,000 in debt.) So last month dh decided to get a job driving a truck and he leaves Nov. 22. Now he is convinced in 2 years we will totally debt free minus the truck we bought this year, and next time we need anything we will be able to pay for it in cash or put at least 1/2 down and have $200 payments. I don't find this realistic, I find it absurd. There are 3 guarantees in life death, taxes, and bills. Don't get me wrong I am all for saving money for a rainy day but no more bills, that doesn't happen. So while he is out driving his 18 wheeler, gone for weeks on end, leaving me at home alone, and making all these "big bucks" he knows I want to have a baby and so does he. Umm I'm sorry last I remember two are involved in this process, that means you have to be here to help with this process. See for me it's not as easy as it is for some, I was told in my teens that without aid of fertility treatments I would never be able to have kids. Another thing, I have no desire to raise my children without a dad. I know he will be home every now and then but every now and then isn't good enough. I grew up in a single parent home, and my dad took excellent care of me. I didn't want for anything even when he was working 2 jobs to pay the bills, but I still wanted my mom. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents, but nobody could fill that mom roll enough for me. Why would I put a child through something like that intentionally? Dh says he will be here but how when you job is to be gone across the country somewhere? How do you know that you will be here for the first steps, first words, kindergarden plays, and football games. You can't guarantee that! If dh was in the Army still I would feel different, it wouldn't be his choice to be deployed, and I feel that I would have fellow wives that were here for support. Now he is choosing to be away, picking this life for us that I don't want to live. I feel that if he leaves our marriage won't survive. I didn't get married to live single and alone. Also, and I know to many (dh included) this sounds stupid, but I have no intention of having kids after age 26. I don't believe in all this wait until you have a career and lived a little. I know people have kids well into their 40's but its proven fact that the risks also go up the older you are. You know another proven fact, you can't do as much when you get older, things wear out, plus who wants to be in their late 50's hauling teenagers around and dealing with all the attitude? I want to be able to take my kids to college and move them into their dorm, help them find their 1st apartment, dance at their wedding, play with my grandchildren on their level. I believe in planning for the future and this is me planning for mine. Is this unrealistic?





