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Posts: 83
Oct 28 09 5:39 PM
Alicia, as I read what you have written it brings back the memories of what dh and I have been through not to long ago. Like you we have been married a little over 1 year, and things were all good in the begining. Then one day when we were arguing he said I think we need to get a divorce. Believe me I was more than devistated, I already knew that the man I had married was changed and had lots of serious issues going on in his head but never in a million years would I have thought that to come out of his mouth. He would get very depressed and hit rock bottom and feel like he was taking me down with him, all of this usually happened when something was going wrong with the house, truck, or money but it is all still the same to them. I have to say this was the hardest part of our relationship, and we have overcome it. It is not easy when they have detached from you and you still love them but every time dh would bring up the fact that we needed to separate or divorce my words were always the same. You can go file for the divorce BUT, I'M NOT SIGNING AND I'M NOT LEAVING. I also told him that if he felt the urge to leave that I would call his parents and get them to send him the money and he needed to go take a drive back home. Driving clears dh's head. We would argue like this every month and every month I would cry and run to my parents for advice and they always to me that I needed to leave him if he was going to be like this to me, but one day it clicked to me. Parents are going to tell you what they want you to do, thats what they do and what they've always done. Then one day it clicked for dh, and he decided that he really did still love me and that everything that had been going through his head was wrong and we have been doing great since. I see it as no matter how many hurtful things he said to me he finally realized that someone other than his dog and family loved him and no matter what he did I was always going to love him. So I guess my advice is let your dh walk but hold your ground, if you love him as much as you say you do now more than ever is the time to let him know it. I'm not saying it will work but it is worth a shot.
"It's all about falling down and getting back up, good times and hard love, true love and amazing grace, and working all week for a back ache... my lifes been a country song" - Chris Cagle
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