Yuku free message boards
Username or E-mail:
Password:
Forgot
Password?
Sign Up
Grab the Yuku app
Search:
Vetwives Living With PTSD
>
General
>
In need of some serious advice
0 Points
Search this Topic:
Remove this ad
AOL Users Information
Guestbook
Membership Applications
Need Help?
VOTE HERE
General
Serenity Now Please
Laughter is the Best Therapy!
Benefits
Book Reviews
PTSD Info Links
The History of Our Group
Historic Message Boards
2011 ...2nd Annual Vetwives Retreat
2012 Vet wives retreat
<< Previous Topic
Next Topic >>
Re: In need of some serious advice
Author
Comment
soldieratheart
#1
[url]
[-]
Posts
: 40
Oct 27 09 2:39 AM
Hi, I am a new member as well, my husband and I have been living with his PTSD for 8 years now. The other ladies have given some great advice already that I would like to reiterate: do not be economically dependent on someone with PTSD if at all possible, especially if he and his therapist have not been able to formulate good plans for your husband's emotional storms (which of course include the extreme numbness he is feeling right now). If you have a decent job, then there must be a way to find your own place to live. Involving financial reasons for you and your DH to stay together will involve guilt and co-dependency, which completely takes away from the point of staying together through commitment and love.
From my own experience, reasoning with someone in the midst of an emotional breakdown is useless. My DH, too, wanted to move out and leave at times, even after we had children together. Asking your DH to abstain from life-altering decisions right now is the best argument: maybe he would be open to a compromise by having one of you move out for a while to a motel or a week-by-week (or even month-by-month) rental unit. They are usally pretty affordable and you two would still be in the same area while giving your DH some distance. It will also help you to distance yourself from him, too; it is very, very hard to live with a spouse with PTSD and having your own routine, finances, and sense of independence will go a long ways to shielding yourself from the fall-out of your DH's emotions. It is also quite possible that he may in some way be trying to protect you from depending on him, by acting so unpredictable; he may be scared or resentful of people depending on him, so your DH may need to see that you can stand on your two feet.
I hope and will pray that you and your DH can work through this. It is incredibly difficult and often I am amazed that my DH and I are still together. But we are, and so are many others here. It is possible. We will be thinking of you and please keep us updated.
Interact
My Recent Posts
Reply
Quote
<< Previous Topic
Next Topic >>
AOL Users Information
Guestbook
Membership Applications
Need Help?
VOTE HERE
General
Serenity Now Please
Laughter is the Best Therapy!
Benefits
Book Reviews
PTSD Info Links
The History of Our Group
Historic Message Boards
2011 ...2nd Annual Vetwives Retreat
2012 Vet wives retreat
Email to Friend
del.icio.us
Digg it
Facebook
Blogger
Yahoo MyWeb
Vetwives Living With PTSD
>
General
>
In need of some serious advice
Click to subscribe by RSS
Click to receive E-mail notifications of replies