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Posts: 419
Aug 29 09 5:50 PM
Oh wow MrsP I feel like I'm reading my story 4 years ago. I moved to where I am now for my ex. I gave up everything for him, like you did. And I was unemployed up here for over a year - and I too applied EVERYWHERE. I sent out over 400 resumes. he was unemployed too!!! And when we seperated don't you know the first thing he said was that he couldn't take "supporting me" anymore. Uhm, he was getting unemployment, I couldn't because I had just graduated Law School and we were engaged - nevermind the 25K we racked up on my credit card, guess he "forgot" about that. You sound like you're starting to get where I was when we went sour - I was resentful as hell of him. You've got to do whatever it takes to quash that resentment, it will kill your relationship. So, here's what I wish I had done....
Forget about him for a bit, if he's gonna sit on the computer and do nothing then give you a hard time for not having a job - forget about him (just for now). Go out and figure out what msP wants. And DO IT. Whatever it is. If you are sick of living at his moms, go get a tiny, cheap apartment and move yourself out, my guess is he'll follow. :) Don't wait on him to get himself together, cause he's pulling you down with him and you can wait forever for a ptsd guy to get it together. I know how it feels to apply everywhere and get no where. Can you collect unemployment? That will help for the time being and they have contacts there to help with job placement. Look at finding a job like it is a job - tell him "its 8am I'm leaving, I'll be back at 5, I'm going to apply for jobs" then leave and do it. I know with marriage we all go into it thinking we want it to be a partnership, us working as a team, conquring the world together. But when you throw ptsd in there, until they get help, there's always going to be an odd man out, and right now that's you. Don't let him put you fourth - behind his ptsd behavior, the computer and his mother. You put yourself first for now!!! It will go against what feels natural in a marriage, but you have to do it for the marriage right now.
Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you....Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
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