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Re: I am blank~~~~
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jinjin58
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Aug 28 09 10:29 PM
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.
My dh is a workaholic also (if he is concentrating on his work, he doesn't have to deal with anything else). Right now he is not working and he sounds really depressed and out of sorts. He doesn't live with us so it is not something that directly affects me. He did say he went on anti depressants (he has been on them before, but taken himself off) and has had a few panic attacks (one of which he called the paramedics thinking he might be having another heart attack). I didn't hear of this until after the fact. His Dr. wants him to take an anti anxiety med, but he doesn't want to. Not working is a huge trigger for him. I didn't really have to deal with the outright lying thing until right before we separated (the affair). He would however keep things from me, ie. money spent...etc. (also a form of lying). Our finances were always kept separate so he felt that he didn't have to consult me on anything. Unfortunately he felt that I needed to consult him on what I was doing. Basically he seemed to feel that what was his was his and what was mine was ours. When he wanted to reconcile (said that he would do whatever it took to make things work) and we were in couples therapy, this was a subject that he wanted no part off (among other things), thought it was absolutely ridiculous. I could see then that he really was not sincere about working things out with me. I certainly hope that your Dh is willing to change in this regard. Without trust what do we have but a separate life within the confines of a marriage.
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