I really don't know about the spending addiction, I am the one who likes to spend, but when I spend its usually on him. Dh used to be a big time spender, bought a new to him truck, lift kit, super swamper tires, and all that other good crap. So what did we have when we got married, him with a whole pile of debt that he is working to pay off a just for the truck alone, not to include my student loans, and bills and oh our house that maxed out his credit. But we have learned to control it. The not having a job thing, we both stayed at home for a short period of time when he got out and I thought I wanted to hurt him somes days cause all he did was whine, and what did I do? I offered cheese. We were driving each other crazy, dont get me wrong, we love each other but everyone needs there alone time. When it comes to being unmotivated, i can guarantee you he is not as unmotivated as my husband. Half the time dh isn't even motivated to open the laptop much less turn it on and do something, if it is more than a movie, he rarely does it unless I throw a BF. As for the moving out and finding a place yall can afford, what I would do is total up all the money he spends in a month on food, and other unnecessary things and then look for apartments that are in that price range, maybe a little more or less, depending on what he spends. A lot of appartments will tell you about how much utilities are every month for their tennants so that might be a good start. On the subject of mother in laws, me and mine don't have much of a relationship, now I do go to her when dh is in a horrid mood and talking stupid because she and dad can usually calm him down enough that he will talk to me. MIL and I used to have a pretty good relationship until we got married. The night before they were to fly back home dh and I invited everyone out to a big dinner that we had been saving up for. When we told MIL about it she called the resturant gave them her Credit card number and told them that they wanted to pay for it and to tell us the resturant had written off the tab. I found out about this before the end of the meal and needless to say I was furious and walked out. A few months later she sent me a text asking why I hadn't called her and that she really wanted to make things right with me but needed to know what she did. Now I am a person who will say whatever is on my mind and I called her. By the time we were through talking she was in tears because I put my foot down. Now dh was more than upset with me but I didnt care, my favorite phrase "I dont get paid to care". No one has ever stood up to her like I did that day and she has backed off. So my suggestion to you would be next time MIL intrudes put your foot down. You love her but yalls vacation is not an invatation for her to go, if you want her to go you will ask and if you want her to know something either you or dh will tell her.

LJ

"It's all about falling down and getting back up, good times and hard love, true love and amazing grace, and working all week for a back ache... my lifes been a country song" - Chris Cagle