I agree with taking time for yourself to grieve. In july, it will be 15 years that my father passed. I missed out on the last few months that he was alive bc of a disagreement we had. I was young and had learned how to hold grudges. It was a regret for a long time but i made it into a positive....concerning those i love I do not hold grudges anymore. I am sorry for your pain. take the time you need