yes he does go to therapy. propably 1-3x/ mo. We attempted to go to a private therapist after an issue that came up while he was deployed. the counselor agreed to meet over the phone so he could be involved but it turns out that he feels that counselor is on my side. and his counselor at the va offered to see us both but that counselor is his. therefore i ended pushing at the va bc there are no spouse support groups where i live (well one about 1.5 hrs away). a volunteer coordinator put me through with another psych dr at the va who talked to me over the phone back in feb (i had called sobbing imagebc i didnt know what else to do). and she was able to coordinate another dr to agree to see us as a couple. so our first appt is this week. dh says that no dr can wave a magic wand (i know) but i need someone who has experience with ptsd, military and is a man.

thank you for all your posts. especially nakiea. i may print that in small font and carry it with me. it is hard not to get sucked in to the vortex of negativityimage. when i walked away it was after 1 hr of talking and hearing about how it takes "2 in a marriage to make it work" and that i have not put forth enough effort. i have told him since last year instead of saying how he wants me to change, to tell me specifically what bothers him about me and then to hear what upsets me about him and he chould concentrate how he can change. basically we hear each out about how we upset each other and then concentrate on how we behave. not constantly pointing out what i did wrong, how i should have done. worry about ourselves and not worry about who didnt pick up the dirty sock or who didnt cook. ugh....i cant seem to try a short post lately!
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Edited 1 time by goodnbadxs Apr 29 09 4:52 PM.