Chickerita, I don't think this is a matter of either of you being unfair or unrealistic. I think it's a matter of communication and how the two of you come to a consensus about some very important issues. Are you willing to talk to a marriage counselor? Much of what you are going through happens to many couples. A third party can sometimes help. Maybe even an older married couple could help. Be careful involving friends and family though. That can easily backfire. A neutral party is usually better. As for having children a bit later in life, I had my first at 28 and my second at 34. I actually found that having a baby after 30 kept me younger. I can't tell you how often people were surprised when they found out my age. Admittedly, good genes contributed. The women in my family tend not to look their age. But aside from that, I think that having to chase after a little one kept me from getting soft. Another advantage of having my children a little later was that I had already had time to sow my wild oats without having to deal with kids. Once they came along, I was ready to settle down.

I can't tell you how many women I've known who had been told they would probably not have children and they had perfectly healthy babies. I believe that only God knows for sure. You and your husband sound like you have a solid foundation. I hope you will be able to work this out. I'll keep you in your prayers.