Nakiea, I know how frustrated you must be but the image of growing those tomatoes in the bathtub had me doubled over laughing. I think I lucked out in this category. My mil taught her kids to be responsible when it comes to chores. Dh is a total neat freak. Although he doesn't do the deep cleaning that I do, he's really good about picking up after himself (and me) and keeping things clean. It's not all a pretty picture though because the ptsd causes him to obsess over neatness sometimes. That occasionally causes problems. When he's in that mode, days go by with him not communicating because he obsesses over whatever "project" he's working on. It might be the lawn, the car, cleaning out the shed, or whatever. There's no talking to him or getting him to relax. He just keeps going until he wears himself out. Then he's tired but cannot sleep for days. The positive effect is that the house generally stays neat and clean.

Ladydante, my dh spends HOURS cleaning guns and "playing" with them like kids play with toy soldiers. It drives me nuts. I've learned to either take that time to leave or find something to do in another part of the house. Nothing else is going to get done with him on those days. I've always disliked guns. So why did I end up with a vet who became a cop? Go figure.

Arkanian, don't you dare feel guilty. You are a couple and each of you brings something to the relationship. It isn't about money. It's about mutual respect. There have been times throughout our almost 37 years of marriage when I made more money and vice versa. What's important is that you guys talk honestly about finances and how you will handle your money. It's also important that as things change financially you continue to communicate. Financial issues can make or break a relationship.