breathe,
Sometimes they have to be given a wake up call. I am not telling you to stay or to go. That is a decision entirely upon  you.

I am going to play both sides here for a sake of debate. If he does change then you can move back in. Just saying he is going to change making no further effort simply is not enough. This bait works for a future award of you getting something he has promised. If he follows through then communication can be established where there is a workable plan for how his behavior is to be addressed and what action is expected. If he chooses not to follow through his bait rotted on the line with him knowing you will not just grasp and accept anything he might throw your way.

If you decide to stay....then set a boundary and a time line. If he is truly sincere about reaching out for help he will make the arrangements for counseling or whatever is needed. He will do this not expecting you to arrange everything. Now we know appointments sometimes do not come overnight so a contingency plan would have to be agreed upon. One possible  idea could be that he would leave not you and his child when a unsatisfactory situation arises. .I am of the firm belief if they were the ones leaving the comfort of their own home there ideas would take a sharp change on what is acceptable and what is not. It is a change in behavior that is needed.

I learned a very valuable tool here I use with my dh. When we are tethering in a conversation where the tempers are about to arise I use the Stop Sign.I hold my hand up as if I am stopping traffic. I am trying to stop the Steam Roller from riding right over me! I tell him I am not a happy camper. We need to discuss something about this but we need time apart before we can discuss it between us. That time may be an hour or it may be the next day. It depends upon the situation. If we set an hour and after that hour has passed either  if party cannot humanly participate we  use another stop sign to delay the conversation. The address cannot resolve to be addressed if anger is still present. . It took a few attempts at this silly little Stop Sign thing we use but it works. I refuse to talk to him when he is ptsding. It is of no good when he is Mr. PTSD and the stop sign allows times  for him to be Ricahrd again.  The stop sign ceases all conversation  until the issue is resolved. The down fall of this was when I was on a roll about something that ticked me off beyond any belief and he held up the Stop Sign. But it works both ways.....lol

Combat PTSD cannot be cured . That is so true bit I beleif on my whole heart with the proper tools it can be containable. The Stop Sign is just one of the many  tools I have in my" PTSDing Tool Box."

Nakiea



Nothing changes if nothing changes !
Keep your chin up .....Don't take any wooden nickels!