Glad you have a safe place at the neighbors.  The first thing I would do in your situation is to get yourself and the little girl (and the dog, if you like) to a safe place to stay.  Your DH's behavior is NOT acceptable.  The next thing I would do is contact his therapist (he is getting counseling, right?!?) about his behavior.  Our VA offers anger management classes.  Maybe his therapist can convince DH to take them.  I am worried about you.  Please keep us informed.