Sorry to have vented so much here but these rapid ups and downs are taking their toll. Nakiea I agree with both you and HD - this might not end so easily. I am just so sick and tired of this wild roller coaster ride. Its one thing to be on it with HD and his unpredictable PTSD, and yet another thing all together to feel out of control on that other chaotic ride with the VA. With HD some of the ups and downs are tempered with love and there's always a sincere hope the rise and fall will not be so great - but when the tracks are being laid by the VA, who can appear to be heartless at times, then the ride becomes maddening as it plummets and sores. I will be so thankful, so grateful, when this ride at least slows down.