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Re: taking breather
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mallratsmom.vets
I soooo needed that Vickie
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Apr 24 10 1:48 AM
Guess you could tell I am getting tired of the struggle. That last low blow, hearing he might have IHD from possible exposure to AO - was more than I could handle. Neither one of us sought that out, the VA handed the diagnosis to us then made it clear proceeding would be another hefty road trip filled with more twists and turns. There's no promise that even if IHD was SC connected it would be allowed as nothing has passed yet making it a legitimate claim - not to mention the boots on the ground hurdle. It is so good to hear from other wives and know I am not alone. All too often I am childed because HD will not speak in his behalf, as if anyone would recognize his presence anywhere if he did - it gets so ridiculous. I agree, too, too many Vets are being denied rightful benefits because they have lost the ability, lost the will to fight against something they have been trained to believe as having their best interest at heart. Most of these men are like my husband - they view the military as being like a stern yet loving Father. Too many feel - and rightfully so, that fighting against something so large, so powerful will only zap them of what little emotional strength they have left. Out here where we live there are pocket communities of vets who look out for one another, who try to circumvent the hefty VAMC maze and some do succeed. But many fall through the cracks turning to drugs and alchohol to numb the pain.
Even with my help there continues to be problems - this stupid voucher is a good example. Medicare covers 100% of all lab work, the supplimental health coverage we have knows this, the VAMC should as well as they know he is on SSD. And yet the VAMC sends us a voucher to have lab work done here locally and paid by them. No way are we going to involve the VAMC in paying that bill - not when we are paying for our own medical coverage. It will only create a headache for our physicians who have asked us to please keep things seperate - the VA gives them only a small fraction of what they require. As one office worker told us they could not keep their clinic open if they only accepted VA vouchers. Medicare DOES NOT cover psychiatric care, only the medications and those meds are received from the VAMC through the mail.. There is no parity. My hd required shoulder surgery last year, before that it was a neck fusion after three vertabra in his neck blew - we need that medical coverage. Fortunately most of his part is covered by a medicare suppliment from his old job - I have to pay for my own. Its the co-payments that get us, that and the medicare portion taken each month. When he told me it added up to close to $8000 a year out of our pocket, I about died. Now, factor in that our sweet supplimental medical coverage will not cover anything not covered by Medicare - which will not cover psyciatric care - and you can see why we need that voucher for psychiatric care. Heck, we need that additional coverage as it is the main reason he is eligible for SSD! It is such a dog chasing its own tail delema. I get so frustrated with this mess. Someone once told us early on that large enities with the power to assist tend to weed out fraud by making it difficult to receive assistance. They fail to consider that in doing so they may very well be harming those who are the most vulnerable. Like you said Vickie, I know in my heart that if I did not shoulder most of this weight my husband would be cold and buried by now. I look at how serious it became for him at his job, he went postal, and in his mind he was back on that ship on on high alert. I have to consider how he must live with the knowledge that its on record that he is mentally unstable and incapable of employment. We now must live on what the state allows - never doing anything to suppliment that income as doing so means he can work. A few years ago he inquired about driving his handi-capped step-son to doctors appointments and being reimburresed for gas - he was promptly told by PERS that doing so would end his medical retirement from the state. Believe me, they are far stricter than SSD which at least allows you to generate some income. Ours is totally fixed. The only hope we have is through the VA. WE don't need the extra cash to buy fancy toys - to go on exoitc trips, we, like so many others who cannot work due to severe PTSD - we need that income to pay our bills - we had to take out another loan to pay for our auto/home insurance and medical bills not covered. Last year it was to pay our taxes on the home. Heck, the VA helped us borrow the money but we can't pay the taxes - what a joke - it's over $2000 a year and in a few more months it will be due again. And the cost of living keeps climbing. I hate it - we need the extra money and our hands are tied. I get so angry when someone in position as being a mouth piece for the VA spouts off that hd is a fake, that he is blowing smoke --- when that same individual knows damn well his climb through the VA system was just as murky, just as filled with denials and alligations of trumped up trauma as HD's is.... then posts pictures of his toys which were likely purchased with money received after his claim was validated... Then claims hds silence is proof that he is a fake or at least exaggerating his SC claim. I want to scream at them to come spend a day in my shoes, come sleep a night next to him and witness his night terrors because I had to ask him to verify something to prove exposure to trauma ... and it triggered bad memories. Friends have told me to keep doing what we are doing and it will work out... but why must we go through this when it only complicates and destroys what little sanity one has left. It breaks my heart each time he asks me if the VA will do what they promise - there has been too many, far too many broken promises. You know it is bad when you go to the VAMC for an appointment and you are met with armed security guards - because your HD unloaded during his last visit and made it clear he was tired of all the double talk and BS. They tend to forget, it was that angry behavior that lost him his job of over 16 years and brought him to their attention in the first place - they forget he is there to be treated for SC PTSD. They forget that world events might well trigger another episode and foolishly forget how they are in the best posistion to prevent him from going there again. Instead they throw up more contentions and fan the flames. Thanks my friends for letting me vent - I know better than to air this with HD - keeping it all in makes me feel like I am going to burst!
Thank goodness the rains have stopped and the sun is shining
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